Round one, Green ACUs that don't look like cat shit

Welcome to the first installment of the Tactical Adventure Research Dynamics BLOG. There is a lot of information available on the internet and we know that your time is precious. That's why you spend all fucking day on Facebook, Snapchatting or fucking Pinteresting.
Today's drop is a little tale about making lemonade out of piss and how the US Guv'mint fucked you, then threw all that work to the wind and fucked you again.
   Sometime around the turn of the century, the Marines saw the Canadians cool new CADPAT and they commissioned their own, complete with big, fat self-congratulatory logo built right in. The Army, not to be outdone, tried to use the MARPAT and got shot down. That sent them into a fit of epic proportions which resulted in the camo trials of 2002. Several manufacturers submitted quality patterns based on millions of private research dollars. All rejected for the Army's pet project, a $5billion boondoggle we call ACU. ACU is actually incorrect, as the pattern is actually UCP, Universal Camoflauge Pattern.  UNIVERSALLY FUCKING AWFUL!! The pattern, comprised of Desert Sand 500, Urban Gray 501 and Foliage Green 502, all in a series of digital shades designed to blend in a multitude of environments. It fails. Everywhere. Except for the famous couch photo.

  We aren't going to go into the extent of the failure, just remind you again that the US Army fucking wasted $5billion of YOURS and MY dollars to create a pattern that was universally panned and is now being replaced by the same fucking Crye MultiCam that was submitted in 2002 and began service in Afghanistan as the Operation Enduring Freedom Camoflauge Pattern.
What is the point of all of this? Well, now the US Government is going to surplus a metric and standard shit-ton of that gawd awful patterned gear and uniforms. For the hobbyist, adventurer, airsofter, cosplayer, and Tier One Patriot Opeerator, this means an influx of dirt cheap, total shit gear. Not to worry, we are going to teach you how to make that stuff useable.

Pictured, from left, is 1. a new, unused set (our control), 2. a used set that has been lightly dyed, 3 and 4 used sets from Tactical Adventure Research Dynamics member "The Beef"* from his active duty service in AFG.

First, you need some RIT dye. It's that stuff hippy chicks use to make tie dye. For this batch, we chose RIT Dark Green. You may want to add rubber gloves, unless you don't mind that "I just fisted the Statue of Liberty" look. Salt is part of the equation as well, but you will read the instructions and see it, right? Seriously, RTFM**.

 We used a 5 gallon Homer Bucket from Home Depot in the bath tub with a piece of PVC pipe for a stir stick.

Each set was in the dye for about 45 minutes. Then it got rinsed in the tub and carried in the bucket to the washer. Make sure you run a rinse cycle after you pull them out so your wife doesn't put her White Queen outfit in their and turn it green like lucky charms. Toss these in the dryer (No, we don't know what setting, we do man shit here, laundry is only a necessity and done like all domestic chores, half-assed).
Once they are dry, you have a set of useable camo uniforms that should not break the bank. We will probably do a few sets in brown to try them in the arid zones near our compound, but for now, this is the result.

Same order as above. The photos don't do justice to the HUGE improvement. Our finely calibrated, tactical eyeballs will attest to the improvement. Not that you even need to take our word for it, could this pattern possibly be any worse? No. We could rub cat shit all over it and it would be an improvement. Your mileage may vary.

And there you have it.




 * The Beef  is a kickass operator with experience in both Iraq and Afghanistan as a soldier in this very bullshit camo and as a private contractor, helping your government waste your money in far flung places that you really don't give two shits about. he is also always bitching about how he doesn't have a cool nickname. "Shed Steve","Crazy Richard", "Roscoe", "Moose", "Booger"...and somehow "The Beef" feels left out. We all think it's cool as fuck. Show him some love in the comments and maybe he'll text you pics of his epic beard.

**Read The Fucking Manual